When I got the notification the pre-sale was live yesterday, I gasped and exclaimed to everyone in the room, “It’s here!”

Adidas suggested downloading their app, so you could be one of the first to purchase Beyoncé’s Adidas x Ivy Park line when it launched (at this point, I didn’t realize there was going to be a pre-sale), which I gladly did.

“What’s here?” someone asked.

“IVY PARK!”

I quickly tried to purchase, and eventually did purchase, the Super Sleek 72 shoes because that’s the one item I really wanted. But as I began to look at the joggers and the jumpsuit, I realized none of the clothing in the line came in my size, I’m a 2X, and was extremely disappointed and shocked. Beyoncé is very inclusive in her stage shows, so I expected her clothing would be as well.

Since I couldn’t purchase any of the outfits, I settled for a beanie and some socks to go with my sneakers. I shook off my disappointment and decided I was happy with my purchase. And I was, I felt especially lucky when I learned some people never received a notification and missed the pre-sale entirely.

But this morning I woke up to Evette Dionne’s thread detailing her disappointment in the exclusion of plus sizes from the line and my disappointment came roaring back. I made the mistake of reading the comments and one in particular really pissed me off.

Someone wanted to “play devil’s advocate” and suggested Adidas wanted to see how the line would do first before adding plus sizes. Uh, NO. Everyone knew this line would sell out and this was a conscious choice. It’s asinine to act like it was anything but. Also, I’m told normally Adidas clothing goes up to 4X.

Here’s the problem with “playing devil’s advocate”: the majority of the time, it’s just fucking nasty. It’s not OK to play with what matters to people.

I really don’t want to believe Beyoncé did this because she doesn’t want fat people wearing her clothes, but what other explanation could there be? She’s BEYONCÉ. She could’ve done whatever she wanted and she chose to do this. I will always love her, but I’m gonna be honest, this really hurts.

The silver lining is I only spent half of what I planned to and I’m sure I’ll be excited when I do get my Adidas x Ivy Park sneakers. It just would’ve been nice if Beyoncé had thought enough of me to make that gorgeous jumpsuit in my size to wear with them.