I came across the aforementioned article on Medium today, responded to it in the comments, then decided to post my response here because I’m interested in y’all’s thoughts on the matter. You can find the original article here.
This is my response:
“Black men love black women. They just aren’t as loud as the black men who hate black women.”
Isn’t this part of the problem though? Earlier in your piece, you present that love for Black women and hate for Black women are equally displayed in music and on social media. As a Black woman, I have to disagree, particularly when it comes to platforms like Twitter. I see Black men disparaging Black women AND Black GIRLS (see the latest attack on Blue Ivy’s looks by a Black man) almost every day on that platform. I see Black men praising or defending Black women and girls far less. Interestingly, oftentimes when I do see Black men defending Black women, they’re Black queer men. One has to wonder if that’s because they, Black queer men, also have an intersectional identity and therefore, have a better understanding of the lived experience of Black women than straight Black men.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, as long as we live in a white supremacist world, there will be societal rewards for insulting/degrading Black women. Black women are the least valued and therefore, least powerful, women in American society. Therefore, the only downside to ridiculing us is you will be put in your place by mostly Black women…who I’ve already established no one cares about, so basically there is no downside. However, white women will often jump in and join Black men in their ridiculing of Black women (see the latest disparaging comments about Blue Ivy again), and as white women have more societal power than Black men, there’s your societal benefit.
Hopefully one day, the Black men who love Black women will be as loud as the Black men who hate Black women. But given there’s a very small societal benefit to that, I doubt it.
What do y’all think? Will the Black men that love Black women ever be as loud as the Black men who don’t? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!