I just read another blogger’s jaded post about sex. He talked about how sex has cheapened in the days of Tinder, Bumble, etc. He clichély talked about how sex used to mean something. Blah, blah, blah.
I commented on his post and said, “Do you really believe this? That sex has no meaning anymore? That people no longer value intimacy? I don’t.” I think that’s just what’s most visible in mainstream American media.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There was a time in my life when I valued new, exciting sexual experiences over intimacy. And I had them.
Threesomes, swingers’ clubs, swingers’ parties, experiences with women. I’ve done all of it. And it was fun. I made some great memories.
But now I’m much more interested in intimacy. If I don’t feel a connection with you, if I don’t feel safe lying next to you, I definitely don’t want you inside me.
If I’m having sex with you, I also want to be able to talk to you. I want it to feel like lovemaking, even if we’re not in love. I want to feel seen. I want to feel heard.
All of this is hard to come by these days. But I know it’s out there. Somewhere.