I just read another blogger’s jaded post about sex. He talked about how sex has cheapened in the days of Tinder, Bumble, etc. He clichély talked about how sex used to mean something. Blah, blah, blah.

I commented on his post and said, “Do you really believe this? That sex has no meaning anymore? That people no longer value intimacy? I don’t.” I think that’s just what’s most visible in mainstream American media.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There was a time in my life when I valued new, exciting sexual experiences over intimacy. And I had them.

Threesomes, swingers’ clubs, swingers’ parties, experiences with women. I’ve done all of it. And it was fun. I made some great memories.

But now I’m much more interested in intimacy. If I don’t feel a connection with you, if I don’t feel safe lying next to you, I definitely don’t want you inside me.

If I’m having sex with you, I also want to be able to talk to you. I want it to feel like lovemaking, even if we’re not in love. I want to feel seen. I want to feel heard.

All of this is hard to come by these days. But I know it’s out there. Somewhere.

8 thoughts on “S.E.X.

    • I wouldn’t say that. *Sex* always has been, and always will be, cheap. Lovemaking is not. My point is nothing has changed. People weren’t only making love in the olden days and people aren’t only having sex now.


      • I get your point, but, honestly, things have indeed changed. We have evolved into people who are more aggressive and more empowered with our ideas and the take on life. The media, which inspires us and motivates us, has made it possible for us to be in tune with the world. I dont think sex is cheap, becaue its when someone strips off the dignity and loosen up to the idea of finding pleasure, and not for just a minute, because its a form of trust- not necessary for prostitutes and probably a great number of people. My idea of sex, is that it has evolved into a more pleasurable aspect- which isnt bad at all. Lik eyou said, you want to make love with someone who you can still connect with. The fact that you believe its out there, and that you have not found it, intersects with my point.
        We have become aggressive in seeking connection, and there are those who dont want connection because they feel they will hav to give a lot, so they seek pleasure. That was my point.


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