So I know I promised you all an online dating series months ago and then never started it. What can I say? Time got away from me and to be honest, there were plenty of days I just didn’t feel like writing, but as they say, I got time today.
So I’m thinking the series will go like this: I’ll devote a post to each of the sites/apps I regularly use and if I ever go on a date again, I’ll write about that too. I may keep y’all updated about men I’m “talking to” as they say, but then again, I may not. Depends on if I feel that’s private or not.
So let’s begin by discussing Plenty of Fish, shall we? For those of you who have experience with this site/app, you know that all communication on it is free…which means you have to wade through a lot of trash to find anyone even remotely worth giving your time/energy to. I was on the site years ago and got on the app several months ago because I heard someone say on a podcast she met her boyfriend on the site. So far, I haven’t even come close to that.
I stay on the app mostly as a social experiment. So far, I’ve noticed several themes in men’s profiles. Firstly, there is rampant transphobia on the site: many men’s profiles state they want someone who was “born a woman.” One guy even went so far as to post screenshots of him asking a woman if she’s trans. She responded that she is. It wasn’t his place to out her like that and I was/am disgusted.
Then there are the profiles where men are extremely specific about what they’re looking for, down to weight range. I’m not kidding. One guy said he is looking for someone who is 120-180 pounds. Yet, these same profiles tell the reader she has to accept the guy as he is. I messaged one guy and asked did he not see the irony in having a list a mile long about what he wants in a woman, including that you cannot be plus-size (many men say this BTW) but telling women they have to accept him as he is? Spoiler alert: he didn’t.
Then there are the profiles where men inform women the reason they haven’t found a relationship is because they’re “half-naked” in their profile pictures. Look, a woman is free to post what she wants and look for what she wants. PERIOD.
Finally, I’ve noticed there are many clearly Black men who list their race as “Mixed Race.” I don’t care if they’re doing this because they think it helps them cast a wider net. It’s anti-Black. If you hate your Blackness, I’m pretty sure you hate mine too. Why would I want to date someone who feels like that???
POF has been pretty much a bust for me, but it does keep me entertained from time to time. I’ve been on one date with a guy I met on the site. The date went really well, but then his interest seemed to trail off. I never saw him again.
If I meet anyone worthy of mentioning on the site, I’ll be sure to let y’all know. Have you ever tried Plenty of Fish? If you have, feel free to share your experiences in the comments. I’d love to hear them!
Next up? Hinge.