The other night, I was watching an episode of a wonderful show entitled #BlackLove. The show attempts to answer the question, “What is the secret to a happy, long-lasting marriage?” I’m fascinated with relationships, marriage and Black love, so this is one of my favorite shows on TV.
On this particular episode, several people mentioned God telling them things about their partner or prospective partner and it made me think about all of the things I’ve asked God. I asked God what God wants me to do with my life and never heard an answer. I pleaded with God to answer me. I said, “Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.” Nothing.
I asked God if I was getting married, if I was going to have children. I described the exact man I want to marry. Still, I heard nothing. After I watched #BlackLove, I wondered why God was speaking to others and not me.
I attended church today because my dear friend was preaching. On the drive to church, I thought about how sad I was, not just about my grandmother’s passing, but about everything. I was sad because I felt like I needed to start preparing myself to spend the rest of my life single and childless. I was sad because I wasn’t sure I would ever have a career in entertainment.
At our church, after you take communion, the pastor prays with you. As my friend prayed with me today, I felt God speaking through him. My friend prayed that I would know blessings are coming to me that are greater than I can imagine. He prayed that I would know that my husband and children are coming.
Then he said something to the effect of, “Let her know even when she was a seed in her mother’s womb, you already had these blessings for her.”
That’s when I lost it. I just started sobbing. Why? Because that’s when I heard God’s voice. That’s when I knew my life isn’t always going to be the way it is now. That’s when I knew the things that I want will, one day, happen. I had a vision once of someone proposing to me. Now I know one day that vision is going to come true. Now I know I will have my daughter. Now I know I will have a career in entertainment.
And I really needed to hear from God today too. As I heard many times growing up, “God may not come when you want God to, but God is always on time.”
The story’s not over for me. The story is just beginning. And if you haven’t gotten everything you dream of, the story’s not over for you either.