tells you everything you need to know about how the average white woman functions in America: she plays the victim to get out of trouble and is only aggressive in situations where she knows nothing will actually happen to her.

If you’re currently watching this season of American Big Brother, I’m sure you’ve heard by now and seen the clips of Christmas AKA Raggedeer (as in ragged deer, it’s a play on reindeer because Christmas, get it?) initiating a fight with Da’Vonne, then Bayleigh, who she put on the block this week. Because Bayleigh felt, correctly, that Raggedeer betrayed her, she stopped talking to her. This made Raggedeer feel “shunned” so she decided to ask Day why Bay didn’t want to talk to her. That was the beginning of the end.

Day very calmly explains to Raggedeer that Bay won’t speak to her because she feels betrayed and that she was, in fact, betrayed. Bay trusted Raggedeer with confidential information and Raggedeer proceeded to not only use that information as a justification for putting #BayDay on the block together, but told the entire house the information at the nomination ceremony (the info is that Day is Bay’s “untouchable”). Raggedeer proceeds to say her and Bay were never really that close, they weren’t in an alliance and that what she did was a game move and not personal. Blah blah blah.

First of all, we all know Raggedeer didn’t nominate BayDay because they’re the only confirmed duo in the house. She nominated them because she thought it would move her up the ladder in her alliance, which it won’t, and because she’s a racist. Why do I say she’s a racist you ask? Because she claimed she was going to “get shot” and “stabbed in the face” for nominating BayDay, meanwhile she was arrested and charged with a felony for ramming her car into her baby daddy’s girlfriend’s car in a fit of rage. Therefore, Raggedeer’s “concerns” about BayDay getting violent with her are a projection of her own violent behavior just as all stereotypes about Black people are projections of white behavior.

During Day and Raggedeer’s conversation, Raggedeer had a lot of base in her voice, started raising her voice and eventually started moving in Day’s direction. Basically, she spoke to Day in an extremely disrespectful manner, a manner she’d never dream of employing if she was speaking to Day in the real world. Day eventually had enough of the disrespect and got up and walked away. Raggedeer continued to yell after her. 

Bay walked in on the conversation shortly before Day walked off. Once Day was gone, Bay proceeded to have a conversation with Raggedeer after telling her to calm herself down so they could have a productive discussion. Bay explains she feels betrayed and Raggedeer thinks what she did was just game play and they’ll have to agree to disagree. 

At some point, Raggedeer tried to pull out her white tears and Bay told her to stop because she wasn’t going to allow her to play the victim. Well, that’s when Raggedeer really flew off the handle. I mean, you can’t tell a white woman she can’t play the victim. That’s her only survival skill for God’s sake.

Raggedeer storms off and when Bay tries to continue the conversation, Raggedeer whirls around, gets in Bay’s personal space and puts her fingers in Bay’s face. Bay tells her to get her fingers out of her face twice and to back up twice. Raggedeer finally complied, but was still yelling and pointed at Bay in an aggressive manner. Bay told her to stop because if she did that to her, she would be seen as “crazy” AKA “violent and aggressive.” Once Raggedeer realized she wasn’t going to be able to make Bay look like the aggressor, she stormed off and told Bay to “fuck off” twice.

This is a short synopsis of what happened and doesn’t discuss the entire fight. If you want to see it, I’m sure you can find clips on Twitter or rewind the Big Brother Live Feeds to last night. 

The entire reason I wrote this piece is I was so incredibly triggered by watching that raggedy white woman speak and act so aggressively with Day and Bay that I had a hard time going to sleep last night and woke up with a knot in my stomach. I also, as a Black woman, know what it’s like to know you can’t respond in kind because of how it will be perceived by white people and because it will likely cost you a lot, in this case, your entire game. I know how suffocating and painful it is to have to swallow a white person disrespecting you in a way they would never disrespect another white person. 

Now, no white woman has ever been crazy enough to put her fingers in my face, but I’ve definitely had a white woman speak in a disrespectful manner to me or say something racist to me at a time where I knew I didn’t have enough power to respond in kind. I’ve also been called angry for speaking passionately about something, and when I called it out, I then had to explain the “angry Black woman” stereotype, and I’ve been called angry in my workplace when I was literally apologizing to someone (by someone overhearing the conversation). Fortunately, the only white people I have to care about perceiving me as angry are the ones who sign my check, but I realize that’s a very privileged position to be in and I still felt every bit of pain and frustration Bay and Day felt last night. I’m sending all the peaceful energy to them I can today.

Now, lets get to the real reason Raggedeer acted the way she did last night. She knows she betrayed Bay and what she did isn’t purely a game move. That’s why she feels so guilty about it. But if she acknowledges her guilt, she’ll have to admit she did something wrong, which she can’t do because white people, particularly white women, are obsessed with being perceived as good. And good people don’t betray other people. 

Raggedeer thought she was going to make BayDay look like bullies by running to everyone she could find after the fight and saying she “doesn’t like being attacked.” Here’s the thing: her plan didn’t work. Day was laughing and joking with Kevin, Cody and Dani shortly after the fight while Raggedeer sat at the dining room table by herself in tears. 

I was really surprised to see that when Dani and Cody relayed what happened to Nicole, they said it was all Raggedeer’s fault and BayDay did nothing wrong. We’ll see how long that lasts.

It’s looking like Bay will be the one going home on Thursday and Day has promised to make Raggedeer’s life in the house a living hell. I hope she does because that’s exactly what I would do. She deserves.