Today is my grandmother’s birthday. I had no idea how I was going to feel today but aside from some crying in the early morning hours (around 1am), I’m doing surprisingly ok.

I’m glad because I had a horrible night on Wednesday. I’m so grief-stricken that a lot of my pain sensors seem to be firing simultaneously. I had pain in my thigh, my neck was spasming and my back and shoulders were hurting. I fell asleep earlier than I thought I would, I’ve been sleeping a lot lately, then woke up about five hours later and had a fitful sleep the rest of the night.

I think taking off this week has really helped me in my grieving process. It’s been almost a month since my grandmother passed away, which I honestly can’t believe. To me it feels like she just died yesterday.

I honestly still can’t believe she’s gone.

Now I just have to make it through the hard part: living the rest of my life without her.

I’m going to see Wonder Woman tonight in honor of my grandmother. I think she’d like that.

Happy Birthday, Mom-Mom. I miss you. You will always be in my heart. I love you now and I love you always. Forever.