Stop Asking

So I came back to Pennsylvania yesterday to celebrate my grandfather’s 90th birthday. It is amazing to be around someone who’s 90 years old, especially my grandfather. Honestly, when my grandmother died, I didn’t know how long he would make it.

But he told me once, “She would want me to live” and I think that’s part of the reason he’s still with us. When he told me that, it gave me so much strength because I know my grandmother would want me to live too and that’s one of the reasons I’m still here as well.

I wish I had nothing but happy memories to share from my grandfather’s party, but something happened at the party that really pissed me off.

I was talking to a man I can’t recall the name of that went to the same church I did when I was growing up. Once he realized who I was, he asked, “So do you have children?” I said, “No.” Then he asked, “Are you married?” I said, “No.” THEN HE SAID, “Well, have you ever been married?”

Really? Seriously? My grandfather and my family are so blessed that my grandfather is 90 years old and all you have to ask me is if I have kids and if I’ve been married?! How about asking me if I’m glad to be home or how I am? I’ll even take you asking what I do for a living, which he eventually asked by the way.

🗣 STOP ASKING WOMEN IF THEY HAVE CHILDREN OR IF THEY’RE MARRIED! Not only is it none of your business, but more importantly, WOMEN HAVE VALUE OUTSIDE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE, SHOCKER, WE’RE HUMAN BEINGS! Geez!

Seriously. Stop. Because I’m fucking tired of it. I would not be a more valuable woman if I was someone’s wife or mother. I’m valuable in my own right. All women are.

This message brought to you by your second favorite feminist.

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