So I already talked to all of you about the grief-rage I experienced all day Monday. What I didn’t tell you is that I went off on a completely innocent and unsuspecting customer service woman.

I know, I’m terrible. I was calling to renew the Digital Premier cable package I had with Xfinity that recently expired. She told me that package wasn’t available and all she could offer me was a $5/month discount.

I completely lost it. “$5 a month?! That’s the best you can do?!” I yelled. “As much money as I’ve paid Xfinity over the years, you should be able to do more than that! You’ve lost so many customers to streaming, why aren’t you doing more to keep the customers you do have?!”

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. That’s all I have to offer you. I don’t make the rules.”

“Can I speak to a supervisor please?”

“You can, but she’s going to tell you the same thing I told you. She doesn’t make the rules either.”

“Well, why don’t you point me in the direction of who makes the rules?”

“You’re welcome to write corporate, Ma’am.”

Yeah, not my proudest moment. If you’re curious how the story ends, I called Xfinity again today and got the deal I wanted. Sometimes getting what you want takes a little patience.

So I know I’m not fully healed, but I did show signs of moving in that direction today. My boss is going to Bermuda tomorrow and I’m so jealous.

I’ve had absolutely zero interest in traveling since my grandmother died, but I think I may be ready to plan a trip. The first place I need to go is home to visit my grandmother’s grave. That’s going to be hard. It’s a real grave now. Her headstone is there, the sod’s been put down.

In my last session, my therapist mentioned to me the reason I may be reluctant to go home is as long as I don’t go back, I can pretend my grandmother’s still alive. Once I go home and she’s not there, I have to face the truth of what’s happened.

I think this is part of the reason I haven’t been back since she died. But I want to face the truth. I don’t know when that’s going to be, but I know it has to be done.